What's In My Hospital Bag - Postpartum Update!

So if you didnt originally see my first "What's In My Hospital Bag" post, click here!

Here are all the photos from my original post with the contents of the bags. I was only expecting to stay in the hospital for like, 2 days.... but we ended up being there 5 days, from Sunday-Friday... So that definitely plays a part in what I needed/should have packed. 

First! The clothing bag.

 So right off the bat, I'm going to say we needed more clothes. Bo for sure needed more. 

I should have brought pj pants. I really don't know why I didn't. 

I planned to wear my yoga pants as a going home outfit, but I ended up wearing them for a couple days in the hospital because I bled on one pair of leggings, and only had one other pair of leggings to wear. I also only had 3 tank tops... Definitely needed a couple more of those as well. 

I didn't ever use the flip flops.

The best thing I brought was my robe. It was greatly used, and then it was sadly missed because after labour, it wasn't wearable anymore... Another one would have been nice.

I would have really liked to have a nightgown that had easy boob access. That would have been nice to have as well..Maybe a couple of them actually..

 This blanket was so nice to have. It was nice to have something to snuggle with instead of the stupid hospital bedding. I would have had enough maxi pads for 3 days, but not 5. I ended up needing to use the hospital pads, which were definitely not as nice, and they didn't have wings, which I discovered is way better than no wings. I didn't need near as many nursing pads as I brought. My milk didn't really start flowing until day 4. Diapers - he wore newborn size for like, 1 day.. then we just used size 1's. I ended up having a bunch of size 1's of my own left over because we had a small package the hospital provided that we used first. 

 All the snacks were eaten.. it was 100% needed since the food there was CRAP and the cafeteria food was expensive. I wish I brought more snacks/food. Bo went home one night, cooked a frozen lasagna and brought it back. That was a good idea! 

I went through the baby wipes in 3 days.. I didn't use the coconut oil - and still haven't for that matter. Ive been really lucky in the breastfeeding department. I also didn't need the baby body wash/shampoo because the hospital gave us some. Everything they used for him was left with him. We even scored a soother.

He wore 1 pair of mittens, 1 onesie, 1 sleeper, and his going home outfit. I definitely overpacked in the clothes department. He was basically naked, wrapped in that top striped blanket the whole hospital stay. The nurses had to keep coming in and checking him and he kept having to have a bunch of tests done, so it was just easier to keep him naked instead of dressing/undressing him every time. 

So there's that! The only thing I really overpacked on was the baby's clothes. Other then that, it was pretty much all needed and used!

Our Birth Story!

I’m going to start off by saying that almost everything went the complete opposite way I wanted it to. There were many interventions that happened, which I originally desperately wanted to avoid. That being said, I couldn’t have asked for anything more or less because I now have my baby here laying beside me as I type this, healthy as can be! I don’t resent my labour or birth or any of the choices I made during that time. If I didn’t do what I did, when I did it, I can guarantee my labour and birth would have been more traumatic and I would have looked at that memory with negativity and not as the crazy, emotional, amazing life changing experience that it was! 

So it all started on March 29th. 8 days passed my due date. We had to drive from Sussex to the Saint John Regional Hospital that morning for a 9am appointment to get a dose of Prostin gel. At this point, my cervix wasn’t doing much of anything. The Prostin is supposed to help soften and prepare the cervix for dilation and what not. I was supposed to go in, get monitored for 20 minutes, get a dose of the gel, get monitored for another hour, and then I was supposed to leave and go back 6 hours later to do it all again for a second dose. After the second dose, I was supposed to be able to go home. Well…. After my first dose, and me returning a few hours later to be monitored for my first 20 minutes before receiving my second dose, they discovered that I was having contractions… Which I couldn’t feel at all. At first I was excited, because something was finally happening, but then I got nervous. Since my contractions were so close together, I couldn’t get my second dose. I was then told that if I got a second dose, I wouldn’t be able to go home, since we live over an hour away. So… we had to go waste a couple more hours before I was hooked back up to the monitor again. 

At this point, we’ve been in the hospital for about 8 or so hours & we were heading back to the Labour & Delivery unit to see if there was any changes. After being checked, they told me I was about a finger tip dilated. 

Woo.. freakin.. hoo. 

Along with this news, they told me that since my contractions were still too close together, I couldn’t get the second dose of Prostin AND I couldn’t go home. So I was officially admitted into L&D. We really weren’t expecting to spend the night. I thought I would for sure be going home at the end of the day. I had an induction set for the next morning so they decided to keep me for extra monitoring since I was in fact, contracting. So we set up our beds for the night and went to waste some time in the cafeteria sine that was the only place we could get wifi. After a couple hours of that, we decided we should go to sleep. 

So... I'm sleeping...and I wake up with bad period cramps. Woo these must be contractions! Every 5 or so minutes I'm getting these contractions. I ended up spending most of my night on my hands and knees with the bed propped up to almost the sitting position. I didn't bother waking Bo up at this point, because we didn't get much sleep the night before and I wanted him to rest as much as possible since I was supposed to get induced in the morning. Around 1 am I got up to pee, and there was some fluid on the bed that looked like it had a little blood in it. I called the nurse in and she just said "thats ok" and changed the pads on my bed for me. I continued with the mild contractions/cramping for another 3 hours. I woke up to what felt like, me peeing myself. I had assumed my water broke but I was just so tired from being woken up every few minutes, that I just changed my pad I was laying on, and went to sleep again, because I knew "they" [the doctor and nurses] would be back in a couple hours to check me again anyway. I should mention that I had been checked a few times at this point already, and I had only ever made it to the tip of a finger dilated. 

When the nurse came back in the morning [a.k.a a couple hours later], I told her about me possibly breaking my water, or peeing myself. She laughed and took the pads I was laying on to test them. When she came back she said it wasn't amniotic fluid. Figures, right? So we got all packed up and we headed to the bigger birthing suite! It was so nice to be in there. It was so much bigger then then tiny room we had spent the previous whole day and night in. I took a shower/bath, the nurse brought me toast and peanut butter and apple juice, and I waited for the resident OB to come in to check me one more time before being hooked up to the Oxytocin. 

I was at a whopping whole finger. 

Seriously.. slowest labour ever. 

So in went the IV, and the drip started. This is where things started going the way I didn't want. For starters, I didn't want to be induced. With all the research I did regarding labour and birth, I found out that trying to get through a medically induced labour without any pain medication was quite difficult and most women went through a snowball effect.... First you get induced, then you get an epidural, then your contractions are too strong and your baby goes into distress, and then you get a c section. I'm not saying its impossible... I'm just saying getting induced doesn't always give you contractions your body can actually work with. In the end, all I really wanted was to get my baby here safely, and to avoid was a c section. 

So there I am, probably around 8am, all hooked up to an IV with my penicillin [for + Group B Strep] and my Oxytocin [to get my contractions going]. A few hours go by and oh my goodness, am I ever feeling these contractions now! And what do you know, I'm having back labour! Yay! Around maybe 11am, the resident OB comes in to check me again, this time I'm at a 3! YES!!! Finally.. PROGRESS! This really excited me but also made me scared as shit because that was a ton of pain for only 3 cm! They told me then, that I could get an epidural at 4 cm. I was still against it at this point. They said he would come back in an hour or two to check me again. This is where my timeline gets a little fuzzy because the pain completely took over at this point. 

So from a 3 and on, I was having the worst back labour ever. I was on my hands and knees and every time a contraction would come on, which was every 3 or so minutes, I would grab onto the bed, inhale really deeply through my nose, and exhale through my mouth making a "whooooooooo" sound. Like an owl. haha! The nurse that monitored me from the beginning [her name was Julie, love her!] kept telling me how great I was doing with my breathing. It's amazing how much those words helped me stay on track with breathing. In that moment, all I wanted to do was hold my breath and grit my teeth... but I kept on breathing through them while Bo deeply massaged my lower back/butt. If I didn't have counter pressure on my lower back at the same time as a contraction, I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I already had the shakes and that alone was exhausting. It had been about another hour, and my nurse told me that the doctor wasn't going to come back for another hour or two. 

That's when I gave in. 

I couldn't do it anymore. It was too unbearable! It was contraction on top of contraction, plus I hadn't slept for 2 days now. I was hardly getting a break in between to get myself prepared for the next one. I gave in and got her to explain my pain options again. Gravol, morphine, and fentanyl were my choices at that point. I chose fentanyl because it only lasted a short time and was less likely to make me groggy or nauseas. She gave me my first dose. Although it didn't take away the pain by any means, it took the edge off.... For the first half hour anyway. I was able to get 2 more doses after that which would mean I laboured for an hour and a half, since I could only get a dose every 30 minutes. The second and third dose worked even less then the one before it. 

Finally around 1:30 or 2? Again, timeline is a little fuzzy. The doctor came in to check me and break my water. All I could think at that point was "if I'm only at a frikkin 4, I'm going to lose my shit". I remember telling Julie that I felt like Rachel on that episode of Friends where she's in labour with Emma and all these women come in and out while she lays there in the longest labour ever. Yah. I felt exactly like that. Especially since the nurses were talking about a woman who had just come in last night saying "she didn't know if she should be there or not" and when they checked her, she was an 8!!!! Seriously jealous is what I was after I heard that story. 

So anyway, doctor comes in all prepared to break my water, and boom! It's already broken. I was so paralyzed in pain on the bed that I didn't even notice the wetness. In all fairness, I'm sure it broke at 4am and had just continued leaking since then. So then she checks me. Again, all I'm thinking is how I'm going to just die if I'm only a 4...."Looks like were at a 6!" Best thing I've heard all day. Epidural lady was then called and papers were signed. There was no way I could keep going on with labour without an epidural. I actually cried after I signed the paperwork for the Fentanyl and the Epidural. I felt like I was betraying myself and my baby. Bo did his best to reassure me that everything was fine and to not feel bad about not going natural... which now when I look back at it... there was no way I could have managed the last 4 cm without getting an epidural. You'll read why. 

So I had to wait a little longer for the epidural lady to come and during that time I threw up twice from the pain. When she arrived, the worst part of getting the epidural was her wiping my back down with antiseptic stuff! It felt like she was scraping my skin off! It must have been a combination of the rough thing she was using to clean my back, Bo rubbing my back for the last few hours really hard, and the back labour itself. Ouch. I barely felt any part of the epidural because I was having contractions the whole time and could only focus on that. Once it started to kick in, I really felt how tired I was. I think it was about 2 ish in the afternoon and I was exhausted! I ended up throwing up again. I was laying on my left side at first but had to roll over to my right to get the epidural to kind of drain over to my right hip. Everything was completely numb except my right hip. Let me tell you... that was some rough pain. Threw up again. I remember looking at the machine that was monitoring my contractions earlier, when I still cared about looking at machines....and the numbers were in the high 50's and 60's. At the moment everything was numb minus my hip, the numbers were somewhere around 120 I think it was! I was beyond thankful when my right hip finally went numb with the rest of my lower body. It was at this point, I was able to fall asleep. 

Thank baby jesus.

I napped for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half... something like that. I woke up to Bo saying he was going to the cafeteria to get a tea and then come back. Just as he left, the nurse said the doctor was going to come in and check me again. She came and checked and to my absolute complete surprise, she said I was fully dilated and fully effaced. She looked at me and said "lets have a baby!" 

That was such an exciting but terrifying moment. For starters, Bo wasn't back, he had literally just left... and second of all, I couldn't feel a damn thing. I couldn't lift my legs, I couldn't feel contractions.. Nothing. 

All of a sudden, my room was being filled with nurses and doctors. They got me on my back and got my legs all propped up into position. The doctor told me that on my next contraction, we were going to do a practice push, just to see how well I was able to push with absolutely no feeling. Julie told me I was having a contraction, so I took a deep breath in, released it, took another deep breath and PUSHED HARD, deep breath, PUSH, deep breath, PUSH! Right after another.... & with those 3 pushes, I brought the baby all the way down. The doctor was so impressed with my pushing skills and said I did a really good job. At that moment I said "I'm not pushing again until Bo gets here!!" 2 minutes later, he came running into the room. He said when he got buzzed back into the Labour and Delivery ward, the nurse at the desk told him he better hurry because I was pushing! 

So, at this point, all I'm focusing on is Bo & Julie. Bo had to tell me all about what was going on a couple days later, because I had no idea it even happened. Little did I know, the baby's heart rate was going all over the damn place because my contractions were so strong. It would go really high, and then really low... so they had to put an internal fetal monitor on his big little head [another thing I didn't want to happen during my labour but totally necessary]. When they told me that I needed to push hard, I really put all my effort into it. It was such a weird feeling not feeling anything. That being said, THANK GOD I couldn't feel anything because that boy was sunny side up and the doctors had to literally [beware of these next few words...] reach their hands inside and turn him to face the right way. Hence the insane back labour. Like I said earlier, I was focused on Julie, and Bo. All I was listening for was "ok push!" and then I would push.  So after they turned him, they decided that they were going to use a vacuum to help me out because he needed to come out NOW [yet another thing I didn't want to happen, but again, necessary]. Bo said the doctor said I was literally 4-6 minutes away from getting a c-section. Every time they told me to push, I would push as hard as I possibly could and I would do a minimum of 3 pushes back to back. 

I needed to get my baby out. 

From my first push to my last push, it was about 10 minutes total... and then he was here. 4:10pm. 

I originally wanted to do immediate skin to skin & delayed cord clamping.. but that was NOT an option anymore. Bo didn't even get to cut the cord right away but he did get to trim it later. I didn't even get to see him before they took him to the warming bed.. the only thing I saw was his head full of dark hair. I looked at Bo and told him to go with him. They took him straight to the warming bed and used an electric sucking machine thing to clear out his nose and mouth. I laid in my bed anxiously waiting for his cry. It didn't take long before I heard that first squeal. I immediately broke down in tears. I couldn't stop crying. It was the most amazing sound I had ever heard in my life. Not too long later, just a couple minutes, they brought him to me and we did skin to skin. 

It was such a surreal moment to have my baby on the outside of my body, in my arms. Hearing him cry gave me butterflies. He had such a good set of lungs on him! He had all his fingers and toes, he had a full head of dark hair, and he was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I said "hi" to him right away and then I said "happy birthday!" to which some other people in the room said "happy birthday" to him as well. Bo was taking pictures with my iPhone, thankfully! Taking photos was the last thing on my mind, but I'm glad he was on the ball, and he even got a couple videos. 

While I was falling in love with my baby, the doctors were stitching me up, which I couldn't feel thanks to the epidural! Seriously so thankful I got that thing. Considering I just pushed out a baby that weighed 9 lbs 6 oz and in under 10 minutes, I only had first degree tears! I overheard the doctor saying "I'm good!"... to which she was referring to the vacuum I think.... and then one of the nurses said "no, thats a good vagina!" haha! I love whoever said that! 

It's amazing how quick the room clears out once you and baby are ok! The lights were all turned down and there was peace in the room again. 20 or so minutes later, I put the baby to my breast and he latched on right away and nursed for a good 5-10 minutes! Julie brought me more toast and peanut butter and some apple juice too. When we were done this, I handed the baby to Bo and my nurse helped me to the shower. I was wheeled into the bathroom on a wheelchair and was told to sit on the chair in the shower but I had to stand up to wash my hair and vag properly. I think I gave my nurse a heart attack. Epidural and all... probably shouldn't have been standing. Oops. Oh my good god, the shower felt so nice! Once I was done in there, I came out, dried off, got dressed, sat in the wheelchair and Bo gave me the baby. Julie and Bo packed up all our things and she wheeled me to the mother and baby recovery section of the floor. I spent the rest of the night cuddling the most adorable little human in the world <3

So that's that! 

Hunter Rylee Jardine 

March 30th, 2015

4:10pm

9 lbs 6 oz

21 inches long

What's In My Hospital Bag!

Here is my "What's In My Hospital Bag" post! 

I'm quite excited about doing this, because after I get home from having the baby, I'm going to do an update as to what I actually used, what I didn't & what I wish I had brought, etc. Since my bags have been fully packed for about 4 weeks now, I thought maybe it was time to actually take photos and document! I've documented everything so far, may as well continue with this! 

So here are the bags I'm using. The one on the left is a David's Tea canvas tote, which is super durable and such a perfect size. Inside of that bag is a little baby bag. The big black and pink one on the right is a bag I bought for luggage in London, On a few years ago at one of those luggage shops in the mall. It has a big shoulders trap too. This one is actually a lot lighter then the David's Tea one!

All the items I packed came from a list my hospital gave me, as well as ideas from friends and family!

So this one is filled with basically clothing. 

Bo's things: 2 shirts, pj pants, swim shorts, socks & underwear. We had slippers we meant to bring but forgot :(

My things: 3 tanks, 2 leggings, 1 pair of yoga pants, 2 open cardigans, 1 zip up hoodie, robe, flip flops, slippers, socks & underwear + my makeup bag which just has the basics in it - bronzer, powder, bb cream, mascara.

I also have our toothbrushes, toothpaste, some q-tips, and my hair brush in this bag. 

I also packed in that bag, the blanket I knit for bebe.. Newborn size diapers and size 1 diapers. The list I got from the hospital said size 1, but since I had a pkg of newborn sizes at home, I wanted to bring them so he can use as much of them as possible, if they fit that is! I also packed maxi pads and nursing pads.

 Each of these bags are packed with things, but the little baby bag fits right into the David's Tea tote. Convenient, so we only need to carry 2 bags total instead of 3!

 In the tote, this is what I have! It's all pretty self explanatory, since I have most of the things marked. 

Gatorade, snacks, baby wipes, make up remover wipes, hand sanitizer, coconut oil. In the travel sized containers, I have body wash, shampoo and conditioner, and lotion. In the big ziploc I have Aveeno Baby body wash/shampoo, diaper rash cream, and lotion. 

Finally, this is what is packed in the baby bag! I actually ended up changing a few of the onesies & added a specific going home outfit, but thats pretty much it.. everything is still the same. 

A soft blanket, 2 receiving blankets, a burp cloth, 4 onesies, 4 sleepers, the hat and slippers I knit him, another hat, a pair of pants, 2 pairs of socks and 2 pairs of mittens... plus a soother with the attachment clip. 

I also ended up bringing 2 premixed newborn formula bottles & 2 little bottles, just in case. 

I probably overpacked... but its better to be prepared then not right?? Like I said, I'll do an update in the future of what I needed, didn't need, wish I had, etc. 

Bump Update - 40+41 Weeks

-40 Weeks-

-41 Weeks-

 How far along?  

Currently 41 weeks... I neglected to post a 40 week bump update and now I have no idea what happened when.. So I'm merging it into one post. 

Total weight gain/measurements: 

Sitting at a whopping 58lb weight gain. Ah well.. whatchya gunna do. I enjoyed every single calorie ;)

Maternity clothes:  

Nothing new. My wardrobe basically consists of underwear and tank tops or Bo's t-shirts.

Stretch marks: 

Oh yes... new ones have appeared. I was sad at first.. but now I don't really care. I guess thats what happens when you gain 58 lbs in 41 weeks. 

Sleep: 

Awful. It is literally so physically hard to sleep. I can't roll over without being in pain. My pelvis and hips ache like crazy. My legs cramp up all the time. Theres no sugar coating this. Sleep sucks. 

Best moment this week: 

Getting an induction date! It's really come to the point where I need this baby out now. Between my pulled groin/aching pelvis pain & these EFFING WRISTS!!!!!!!!! [they are clearly just getting worse and not better] It's nice to have a day where I know things are going to happen. Tomorrow [Sunday] I'll get 2 doses of the cervical gel... & then if I haven't gone into labour yet, I'll be induced on Monday  morning with Oxytocin. I was really hoping to go into labour on my own... but again, watchya gunna do. 

Miss anything? 

Not being pregnant. I miss being able to do anything with my hands, standing up and sitting down,  and breathing like a normal person. I miss not being winded from walking to the bathroom.... Not peeing every 2 seconds. I sound so bitter.. but this is real life right now. 

Movement: 

Yup. Still lots of movement considering he's probably like 10 lbs by now. 
Still hiccuping about 3 times a day.

Food cravings: 

I get cravings for sweets in the evening.

Anything making you queasy or sick? 

Not eating every couple hours. 

Gender:  

A stubborn boy. 

Labour signs:  

Lost my mucus plug Tuesday night.
Nauseas and vomitting for like 10 minutes Wednesday night. 
That's pretty much it. 

Symptoms:  

Aching lower back and belly. 
Burning wrists joints.... I woke up this morning and one of my fingers on each hand was completely locked up.
Lightning crotch.
I'm 41 weeks and feeling like a hippo.... you can guess my symptoms at this point. 

Belly button in or out? 

Out

Happy or moody most of the time: 

Moody! 

Looking forward to: 
Getting this baby earth side! 

 My birthday - Baby H's Due date

Pregnancy Questionnaire #2 - 37 Weeks

I thought I would do another, different pregnancy questionnaire then I normally do, now that I'm full term! I found this one and thought it would be a nice addition for this week :) I still did my regular one because it would feel wrong to have a week missing!

How far along are you now? 
37 Weeks 

Did you have morning sickness?  
I had REALLY bad morning sickness during my first trimester. Up until I was 14 weeks, I was sick basically every single day. It was actually quite terrible. I would wake up in the morning and instantly throw up in the bin beside me. I could only eat/ drink Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup. I was prescribed Diclectin but it really didn't help much. 
The worst part was having to drive from Southern Ontario to New Brunswick when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I had such a hard time making that drive [16 hours]. It took me 4 days! When I originally moved from Northern Ontario to Southern Ontario [26 hour drive], it only took me 2 days! It's amazing how that first trimester knocked me down!

Did you have any cravings?  
I get random cravings every now and again, but my MAIN craving throughout the pregnancy was apples! Sweet apples like Honeycrisp, or Red Delicious... Mmmm... Oh along with Simply Fresh Pressed Apple Juice. 

Did you have any mood swings?  
Oh did I ever. I would say mostly in my third trimester... My first trimester was rough due to all the sickness, but I was also exhausted & took a lot of naps. In my third trimester, I'm quite tired again, but I'm so uncomfortable now, that I can't nap, therefore, quite moody!

Are you a high risk pregnancy? 
Nope. I've been lucky to have quite a "normal" pregnancy!

Any complications?  
Nope! Another thing I am very thankful for. 

Formula or Breastfeeding?  
Really really really hopping to breastfeed. I told a friend of mine that if I could have one thing go my way with the pregnancy, labour, birth or anything afterwards, it would be to be able to successfully breastfeed. 

Have you bought anything for the baby yet?  
Theres still some things I need to buy, such as shampoo, lotion, nail clippers, etc. I have the basics & necessities for now. Were slow buyers. 

When did you start to show?  
I was about 9 weeks when I first noticed a belly poking out!

How long could you wear your regular clothes?  
I'm still wearing my regular clothes! At 37 weeks, I'm thoroughly impressed with myself. There are some jeans that definitely don't pull up past my thighs anymore, but I have other pants that still fit! There are also a few shirts that no longer fit, but for the most part, I can wear almost everything I had pre-pregnancy! 

Will you keep the baby’s clothes?  
Yep! I'll for sure keep his clothes & anything else because we plan to have baby #2 pretty close to the first one.

Home or Hospital?  
Hospital! Although I do joke around that Bo should brush up on his midwife skills, just in case I can't make it to the hospital for some reason haha!
I wouldn't be against a home birth, if I was closer to a hospital, for a back up, just in case. Were currently an hour and a half from the hospital I'll be delivering at... So that is way too scary to think of, if something was to go wrong with a home birth. 

Natural or Medicated birth? 
Natural. My OB told me that Fentanyl was a pain relief method she would recommend while I'm in labour. The thought of that drug being in my veins & going to my baby absolutely terrifies me. I fully believe my body is capable of birthing a baby without any dugs. I'm hoping I can keep this mentality all the way through the labour. The pain won't last forever... right?

Who will be in the delivery room with you?  
Bo for sure... & possibly my mom if she's here.

Do you think you will need a C-section?  
I really really hope not. I don't want my first surgery to be a C-section! I really hope to have a vaginal birth.

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the 1st time?  
Oh, guaranteed. 

What’s the 1st thing you might say to the baby?  
I'll probably say "Hi" haha! Then I plan to sing Happy Birthday to him <3

Will you let anyone video tape the birth?  
I would LOVE that... but I doubt that'll happen. I'll need Bo for support, & not holding a video camera. 

Are you excited?    
Of course!

Who will help you with the baby after the birth?  
My mom will hopefully be here for a few days... Other then her, it's just Bo & I. 

What is your favorite thing about being pregnant?  
Feeling him move around & learning his little personality already. 

What is the worst thing about being pregnant?  
The feeling of my pelvis shattering, & my wrists burning. 

What’s one thing you miss doing since being pregnant?    
Drinking wine.... & sleeping on my stomach!

Any days you wish you were not pregnant?
No.. never. 

Are you ready for a baby?   
Yep!

How many kids do you want?  
2, possibly 3. 

Do you talk to the baby?  
I ask him to get his feet out of my ribs & to stop head butting my cervix. He doesn't usually listen.

Do you still feel attractive?  
I've literally never felt more confident about my body in my life! 

Have you had your baby shower yet?  
I had one back in Red Lake with my mom & a few aunties. 

Do you like kids?  
Most of them! haha!

Here are is some pregnancy humour that I thought was quite comical and super accurate lol!

Bump Update - 36 Weeks

I always take these photos in the morning right when I get out of bed [before I eat]... So that means, no make up [since I never really wear make up anymore] & no hair brushing [because I always forget about that too.. hahah] & I always look half asleep. Maybe I should have cropped my face out of these ones..lol! Oh well. 

How far along?  

36 Weeks aka 9 months!! 
Holy crap.

Total weight gain/measurements: 

Weight gain is beyond me as per usual, but I do have an appt next week, so I'll know for my 37 week bump update. 
Belly is 45.5 inches ish. My hands were so sore, I kept dropping the stupid thing lol!

Maternity clothes:  

Nothing new... and I'm just going to say, probably nothing new for the rest of my pregnancy...
The black shirt I'm wearing in the above photos is maternity, but I have to keep pulling it down.. My belly keeps popping out the bottom haha

Stretch marks: 

I DO have new ones on the lower part of my belly. I've only been able to actually see one new one, which I think is kind of funny. I know that its there because I had to switch lotions :( The Aveeno one was working amazingly, but then I went and got the cheaper "Equate" version when I ran out of Aveeno.....
 It's crap.
Don't use it.

Sleep: 

Meh. Same old. Up about 4 times a night...then sleep solid for a good 4-5 hours before I wake up for the day. Not too bad! 

Best moment this week: 

Getting a package from my mom was quite the highlight! It had chocolate in it, & that is always a winner.
I also got a free sample package from Similac which was awesome. It came with 8 little bottles of newborn formula, 2 other powder type formulas, and 2 $10 rebate coupons for Similac products.
Also, I finished knitting a blanket, hat & slippers!

Miss anything? 

Alcohol. I had a dream the other night where I was in Mexico or something for my birthday & I was drinking margaritas. Oh it was yummy. 

Movement: 

Always. I posted a video on my Facebook as well as Instagram if you want to go check them out. He likes to stretch out, which can actually be pretty painful for me now that he's so big. He does a lot of rolling around... tossing and turning.

I don't know if you can tell, but he is pushing his butt up on my right side. He does this quite often, switching sides or staying in the middle. He's clearly running out of room. 
Oh and his typical hiccups multiple times a day :)

Food cravings: 

Still Chinese food.
Also, my sweets craving has chilled out [minus apples & other sweet fruit] but now I've really been craving chips! I want salty snacks!

Anything making you queasy or sick? 

Nope

Gender:  

Boy!

Labour signs:  

I'm not quite sure how to distinguish labour signs from symptoms... but theres been lots of pressure in my crotch area... that my friends, feels just wonderful [please note the sarcasm] haha!
Oh, Braxton Hicks!!! Those are kind of painful.. I don't know what people are talking about when they say that they don't even notice them. Makes me a tad bit worried for real labour! I usually hop in the shower right away & just sit there. It feels so nice to just have the water trickle down on my belly.

Symptoms:  
Seriously, I think I got all the weird symptoms.
Carpal tunnel.
Restless legs.
Blurred vision.
Along with all the basics...
Lots of pressure & lightning crotch.
Achy back & hips.
Heartburn.
Plus theres this spot in my pelvis that feels like it's about to crack in half. 

Belly button in or out? 

It's still a halter.
Bo says it's like a turkey timer.. Once it fully pops out, thats it, baby is ready to come out. Hahah!

Happy or moody most of the time: 

A bit of both, but more happy.... but probably more anxious than anything.

Looking forward to: 

Going to my "prenatal assessment" next week [Thursday] at the hospital I'll be delivering in. Very much looking forward to that since I've never been to that city, which means I've never been to that hospital! So it'll be a nice practice run to see how long it takes, where it is, etc. Plus I'll be able to ask about mom and baby care and what their procedures are and what not. 

Also looking forward to my next OB appt [Friday]. I'll be getting an exam done then, so I'll know what kind of state he's in.. whether he's head down, engaged.. if I'm dilated or effaced at all.. etc. 

"Just Wait"

Well I should probably start by saying, I'm not sure which direction this is going to go. Whether its going to be a full out rant, or if it's going to have some kind of positive feel. I do know, however, some people will totally understand me, & some people may take offence. Regardless, these are 100% my thoughts and opinions, & you 100% do not have to agree with them :)

Being almost 32 weeks into my pregnancy with some obvious time to go still, I can say that I've had more thoughts and opinions thrown at me whether I asked for them or not. Don't get me wrong, theres been a lot of advice that I do really appreciate. I appreciate the honesty and the good intention behind it. What I'm starting to not appreciate, is all the negative behind everything. Many people seem to have a negative opinion regarding my pregnancy, my labour & birth, my newborn, and so on. 

When I say negative, I mean the horror stories people like to basically scare me with. People using my very minimal complaints against me, telling me its only going to get worse. For example, sleeping. The almighty 's word'.Let's just get one thing straight here. Some babies sleep all night. Some babies don't. Some babies are a happy medium. You do not know what my baby is going to do. You do not know how much sleep I need to function. 

I've only had a handful of good nights rest since I entered my second trimester. Blame it on pregnancy insomnia, blame it on my mine and my boyfriends conflicting sleep schedules, or blame it on my belly being in my way or having to pee 20 times a night. Regardless, I haven't been sleeping for many months. I'm quite aware of what "no sleep" means. On the positive side, I would enjoy the fact that while I was laying in bed wide awake, feeling my baby move around inside my belly, gave me some joy & excitement for whats to come. Hearing "it won't be as nice when baby is here and on the same schedule", or "just wait until the baby is here, you'll never sleep", or "it won't be as easy when you have to wake up to a crying baby" squashes any kind of positive outlook I have on my non sleeping issue. Further more, can someone please tell me why I'm going to be so upset at the fact that my baby is going to wake me up in the middle of the night? He's a little boy who's going to need me! He's going to need his mommy for food, a diaper change, or cuddles & whatever else! Also, who's to say I'm not going to completely enjoy being this little persons security blanket? I'd like to think I'm pretty smart in knowing that I may or may not sleep for a very long time when he's born & I'm okay with that. It helps that I have an amazing boyfriend who is so excited to be a dad, that he is more then wiling to also get up, all hours of the night to help, or to take care of the house while I sleep or comfort our son. Together, were going to get through any sleeping situation were dealt. 

There are a few people who have said to me how rewarding it is to wake up to your crying baby & being able to soothe him back to sleep. How amazing it is to know what your baby needs or wants & to be able to give it to him. How you feel like a frikkin superhero when you get your crying baby to stop crying and start cooing. To those people, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The next thing that people have liked to be vocal about, is the size of my belly. I'm just going to touch on this one a little bit, since apparently the topic of sleep set me on a rant. My belly is still a part of my body. It is housing a growing human. When you tell a pregnant woman how "huge" she is, she very rarely sees it as a compliment. The further she gets in her pregnancy, hearing she's "so big" is like kicking her ego with cleats on. We are very aware that some of you are commenting on the size of the baby growing inside [most of the time], but when you're actually that big and uncomfortable, it ceases to be any kind of compliment & I for one, would appreciate being told something a little nicer & not how I'm "only going to get bigger". Here are some examples of what some wonderful people have said to me.

"You look great!"

"Pregnancy suits you!"

"Wow, you don't look 7 months pregnant.. I would have guessed 4 months tops"

"You have such a glow!"

You never know what a pregnant, emotional, hormonal mom to be is going through or has been going through. Every single pregnancy is different.... because every woman and baby are different. Someone at 6 months might look like someone else at 8 months and vice versa & thats ok! No two bellies are the same & we shouldn't be comparing them to each other. "You're so big" stops being a compliment at a very young age. There are 38470956756 other ways to compliment & not comment on a pregnant woman's growing belly. I will say, having a boyfriend or husband who reassures you daily about how beautiful you are, is a HUGE help. It almost makes all those little remarks just disappear. It's quite nice to hear "you're so beautiful" & "you have such a gorgeous belly" daily, & actually believe it!

Another thing people have been giving their opinions on, is my birth plan. I for one, am very impressed with women who can do a completely natural, vaginal birth. No induction, no epidurals, no interventions of any sort. I've only seen one birth, & let me tell you.. it sure doesn't look like a walk in the park. It's tough work bringing a human into this world! That being said, I'm trying to be very open minded as to how my birth is going to go. I know there are a million and one things that can happen while you're in labour & your plans can change in an instant. When people ask about my birth, and I say I'm going to try going all natural, the opinions start flowing. "Well you know, you could end up having a c-section", "just get the epidural", "you'll be singing a different tune when the time comes".
On a personal level, it freaks me out not knowing whats going on with my body. If I can't feel myself push because of an epidural, I'm not going to like that. If I take medication that makes me & my baby dozy and out of it, I'm not going to like that. If I get tired & a doctor takes advantage of that fact & offers a c-section to speed things up, I'm not going to like that. That being said, I'm going to do whats best for me and my baby when the time comes. Who knows how it's going to go. I have my opinions, thoughts and values. I have a semi-plan, and if all goes the way I would like it to, awesome!!! If not, oh well, at least I'll know I made choices that I was comfortable with, that got my baby here safely & thats whats important here. 

A big thing that has bugged me in general since I announced my pregnancy, is how it seems like people are literally trying to scare me. This is my first pregnancy. My first baby. Everything from 32 weeks ago until now, has been foreign and new to me. I've been doing my absolute best to not complain & to enjoy every single minute of it because it's been going by SO fast. Having people say "just you wait", "you'll see", "you're going to find out" in a negative way, makes a woman think she's going to be a walking zombie who doesn't like her baby! I know some people were probably just trying to have a conversation, but the truth is, you gotta think before you say something like that. The way your opinions are worded is a huge factor. A new mom to be is getting a million different views about a million different things all the time. I don't think saying negative things & implementing a fear that wasn't there before, is being very supportive and encouraging. 

 Were going to parent our son differently then you did, because our parenting style is going to adapt to our child's needs. Our son is going to be different then your son or daughter. Just like how my pregnancy is different from yours & so forth.
I didn't sign up for motherhood expecting everything to be perfect & go exactly the way I want it to. I, along with his father, are going to cater to this little baby boy's every need because he needs us! We are his parents & he his our baby. We are going to do everything in our power to keep him happy and healthy.
To those people who have given advice & opinions, I know you have just been trying to be helpful & sharing your experience with me. I really do appreciate hearing your stories! Thank you! I truly am thankful for everyone's kind words, encouragement, personal stories & compliments. It makes a world a difference & I really appreciate it. I hope we can all remember to be this way when it comes to someone else and their personal journey! Spread more positive vibes, happy thoughts, and sincere joy & understanding.