18 Week Maternity Photos!

I got upset at the fact that my best friend/personal photographer lives 15 hours away from me & I no longer have anyone to document my pregnancy! I was tired of my iPhone selfies. She so awesomely suggested to take my own photos. The only picture taking device I have besides my iPhone is my lap top! So, since theres no timer on my phone, my lap top won! Which kind of worried me because usually the quality is just ... well... crap. haha! Turns out, as long a you throw a little edit on them, they look not too bad! Still nothing compared to how they COULD have looked with her amazing camera and skills, and NOT my make shift stands and shifty webcam! But I'm workin' with what I got over here haha! She also took the time to edit some of my shots! Here's a mix of both our edits.

The shirt is a green chiffon halter from Warehouse One. This is actually my first time wearing it!

The pants are shiny black leggings from Garage. I bought them one year for a flamingo outfit. They are amazing comfy and they feel fun and slippery on your legs!

Boots are from my step dads mom. They were a Christmas gift!

Bracelet and ring are from Urban Outfitters. 

i love this one!

This shirt is quite large.... It also help that so are my boobs so it's not clinging to my belly what so ever! I don't even look pregnant in this outfit! 

This one is another favourite!

The top I bought from a friend a couple years ago. This is only my second time wearing this one. Its from Le Chateau. I'm not too sure if its a shirt or a dress.... 

The tights are just some cheap ones from the Bargain Shop. I never wore them when they were bought. That was a few years ago... They were quite holey in one leg form being moved so much!

The lipstick I'm wearing is "Dizzy" by Rimmel. 

This dress is amazing! It hugged all the right things in all the right places! I felt quite confident!

Seriously? Where did the baby go?

The sweater dress is from Victorias Secret. It has had quite the time with me and my ever changing body. When I first bought it, it was way too small. The first time I got to wear it, it was pretty tight, but it looked okay, I guess. The third time I wore it, was during a photo shoot with my best friend Sierra, and it fit perfectly! This time I'm wearing it, its too big! I'm going to keep it around for awhile. I'm sure it'll work perfectly for when this belly gets even bigger!

The leggings are from TNA. I have 2-3 pairs of leggings that still fit, all from TNA. They are my saviours right now. 

Boots are from Charlotte Russe. They've done their time. I desperately need a new pair. I had to hot glue the bottom of a boot in order to wear them for photos. Haha!

Belt is from Urban Outfitters. Headband is from the Bargain Shop. 

The lipstick is N.Y.C Smooch Proof Long Wearing Lip Colour in 489C. This stuff is amazing. It lasts for so long!

I loved this look so much. The outfit, the hair, the lip colour! Loved it. 

a thought..

I've been so excited, proud, and amazed with my pregnancy. I wake up everyday and put my hand on my belly. I look forward to reading about what it's up to in there; what systems are in place, what body parts are growing, how much 'he' weighs and how long 'he's' getting. I love seeing ultrasounds, and hearing the heartbeat, because even though I see my belly growing, and I know he's okay in there, as a new mom it's still nerve wracking waiting for that next appointment! I feel so protective of him already, and he's still in my belly. 

That being said, I'm having a constant battle in my head regarding people or "friends" who haven't acknowledged my pregnancy. I keep trying to tell myself not to think about it and not to give it any thought. The couple friends I have left - who have been the best supporters ever! - keep telling me that I don't need any negativity in my life right now, and to just forget about them. I really wish I could. Theres a huge part of me that feels super offended and upset that there are a select few who have completely disregarded my baby. This is an innocent little being who has no say in the matter. For people who were once VERY close to me in my life, there are a lot of them who don't care about this baby.... Which is fine I guess... but what bothers me is that they still keep me on social media.

 Why? Just "unfriend", "unfollow", "un-everything" me. If there is something that I've done to these people to deserve this lack of acknowledgement for such an important time in my life, then fine... I deserve this. Why just hang out on my social media then? I of course have been pondering the thought of "deleting" these people from my life. I have done this many times before to people who just didn't belong in my life anymore... but these certain few, it just breaks my heart to know that they think so low of me and my unborn child. Theres a part of me that still hopes to get even a tiny bit of acknowledgement, even though I know it's not coming. 

This is a huge part of my life. This is my baby! I want my life to be full of people who care about me and support me and want nothing but the best. I don't need constant attention, an ego boost, or anything like that. A simple "like" would have sufficed. One little "congrats". I didn't need a big hoo-rah.. or a long speech... just something quick, simple, and easy. It's hard to not take everything personal lately with these hormones running amuck, but I think this classifies as personal. 

Since these people are still on my social media - Facebook in particular - I feel like I'm flooding their news feed with photos of my belly & they're just sitting on the other side making negative comments and snide remarks about it. Or they could just be ignoring it all completely, which hurts just as much, if not more. I feel as though if I remove these people [& to be honest, there's too many individuals who I think feel this way] it'll cause more "drama" or "gossip". 

In the end, it just saddens me that not everyone is excited and happy for this little baby to be in the works. A new life is such a miracle. When I know someone who announces a pregnancy, I'm nothing but thrilled for them and 99% of the time I'll throw a quick "Congrats!" out there and "like" a few maternity/pregnancy photos. It just really hurts that I watch these certain people comment and "like" other things, and still completely disregard my life. 

To each their own I guess. I shouldn't let something like this bug me so much! It's just hard to let this one go. 

One day I'll develop some kind of backbone and make a choice. 

Until then - trying to keep good vibes and positivity! 

Feelin' Crafty

I was looking around in Pinterest this morning and found this site that had a photo of roses made out of leaves. I thought it looked so pretty and we have such nice coloured leaves in our yard right now, so I decided to give it a try. 

Here are the end results... I think it turned out quite nice! I only did 7 roses as my back was killing me for sitting so long haha! 

I also started a baby blanket... Ive come to the conclusion that it's going to take me a lonnnnggg time to finish it. The needles are big and it gets so heavy, causing my right pinky finger/knuckle to get cramped up and sore quite quickly. 

I think the needles are 15US. I really gotta find a way to sort and label those circular needles. They should stamp the sizes on them somewhere. Anyway, the yarn is Bernat Baby Blanket in "Little Sandcastles" colour. How cute is that? I got two 300g balls. I'm hoping that should be enough. The free pattern on the ball said to use two, so thats what I went by. I'm using a different pattern then they gave though. A simple 120 c/o. K20 P20. Repeat. Easy peasy. 

Ohhh the Emotions!

I don't know what is is about today. All I want to do is curl up under the blankets and sleep, and cry a little. My emotions gotta get themselves in check, and soon. For some reason, I feel like I'm comparing myself to other pregnant women. My confidence feels like it's at an all time low. I'm stuck in a slump. It doesn't help that I'm miles and miles away from my family and the couple friends I have left. Feeling a little lonely being way from everything I'm familiar and comfortable with. 

I never used to compare myself to others, and if I did, it didn't really matter because I had such high confidence that I just forgot about whatever it was that I was jealous of. Now, good grief, I sit and ponder on things that I really should just get over. I found myself completely jealous of a friend of mine today, when I had seen that she has the most adorable pregnancy announcement, the cutest little baby journal, having the energy to bake a pie, and getting beautiful photos taken of her. Then here I am, in my sweat pants and hoodie, which have become the regular attire these days, sitting in bed, watching Criminal Minds all day! I even tried to knit a baby blanket, but I literally have only gotten a few rows done because my hands keep cramping up! I wish I could be that cute pregnant lady who cooks, cleans, does crafts, and looks amazing all the time. Holy crap, am I ever so far away from that fantasy! I'm achy, tired, still a little nauseas, and all I can think about is "why didn't I think of that" or "why am I not doing that". It's a crazy mentality I tell ya! I'm so over it. 

Seriously, emotions, control yourself, because I cannot.

Another thing I've been wallowing in lately, is how big my belly is! For 17 weeks, I feel huge. At first I was so excited about showing and how big my baby was getting, but now I see girls who are 10-20 weeks further along then I am, and now I feel like a whale! I'm uncomfortable, pants don't fit, joints are sore, and I can feel my belly stretching. My boyfriend is amazing at trying to keep my body confidence up, but today has been a hard one. 

This is not to say I haven't enjoyed every single minute of my pregnancy. Today was just a rough day in the life of Kristen & this is a good venting source for me. I'm completely thankful for this baby and love that little bean with all of my heart. I'm thankful for this stretching belly because I know it means my baby is growing nice and big. It's just taking an emotional toll on me today. I was emotionally and physically drained today. 

I was looking around at pregnancy blogs to follow. I found this entry on a blog called "Snippits of Inspiration". I couldn't have found it at a better time. I made this photo with that entry and plan to make it my lap top background so I can see it and be reminded of it every day. I know I'll be back to my normal self in no time, I think I just needed a day to dabble around on the self pity train.

I'm going to go make a Kraft yellow box pizza for dinner, a tea, and a popsicle for dessert to make me feel better. No homemade dinner tonight, but that's okay with me and my boyfriend. Yellow box pizza is what this bebe wants for dinner tonight, so that's what he/she will get! 

I DID score 2 free Redbox codes today - that was a great perk to my day ;)

Bump Update - 17 Weeks

How did you find out you were pregnant?  
I peed on a stick? haha! I was really nauseas and 'late' so I bought a pregnancy test. Plus before I even took the test, my best friend Sierra & my mom both were asking/telling me I was pregnant!

What kind of Pregnancy test did you take?  
A $5 pack of 2 from 7/11! You don't need the expensive $25 name brand tests after all ;)

How many?  
The package came with 2. The first one showed me 2 bright pink lines almost instantly. The second [I took the following morning] was the same.

What were your 1st symptoms? 
 Morning sickness for SURE. I was so so sick the whole first trimester. 

Who did you tell first? 
Mom & Sierra knew before I did. Bo was next.   

Who was with you when you found out?
 I took both tests alone. The second test, Bo was home, so I told him as soon as I came out of the bathroom. 

My 1st reaction:  
I was excited but I was overwhelmed with nerves of telling Bo. I knew he would be happy & excited, but it was still nerve wracking.  

When was the baby conceived?  
Sometime in June.

How far were you when you found out? 
About 5 weeks or so. 

How did your parents react?  
I didn't get to see the reaction in person since I lived 26 hours away at the time. They were excited & mom cried.

Due Date:  
March 21/2015 so far!

Do you know the sex? 
Not yet... but soon!

Any names?  
We have the boys full name all picked out and ready to go... a girls name? Not so much....

Any Ultrasounds?  
Have had 2 so far! One at 11 weeks and another one at about 14

Have you heard the heart beat?  
Yep! Heard it around 13 weeks... 164 bpm! Then at the second ultrasound it was in the high 150's

Who do you think it will look like? 
I have no idea! We know that our kids are going to have great hair though! haha!  

Will the baby have siblings?  
First bebe :)

Have you felt the baby move? 
Nothing yet... hopefully that happens soon as well!

Bump Update - 16 Weeks

How far along?  
16 weeks

Total weight gain/measurements: 
I don't have a scale, but at 13 weeks I had gained about 5 lbs since pre-pregnancy.. I can only imagine what I'm at now since I most definitely got my appetite back PLUS some more! Haha! Belly has gained an inch and a half since the end of August.

Maternity clothes:  
None yet...but I just ordered some high waisted leggings from Asos, though they aren't maternity. I have a couple pairs of jeggings that fit great, but all my leggings are fitting so awkward now that my belly is getting bigger. They're too big to wear under my belly, and too short to try and pull up over it! I think I'll be ordering more maternity clothes from Asos when I need them. There's some pretty cute things on there!

Stretch marks:
No. I have old stretch marks from gaining/losing weight pre-pregnancy, but nothing new from the bebe.

Sleep: 
The first trimester, I felt like all I did was sleep. Second trimester is full of sleepless nights so far! It's not enough to make me nap during the day or make me cranky or anything.. but its still quite annoying. My nights are filled with crazy dreams and pee breaks!

Best moment this week: 
You'll come to notice that I live a very dull, to say the least, life. This week however, I have realized how much I've been thinking of my grandparents lately. I had such a craving for boiled potatoes the other night - something my gramma always used to make. I also drink a black tea almost every morning - something my grampa ALWAYS used to drink. I actually forgot about his tea addiction until I smelled my first black tea last week. I told my mom about how the smell reminded me of him instantly, and she reminded me of how he used to have a black tea every day with his dinner. When they passed away when I was little, I was always sad that they wouldn't be there to see me accomplish so many things, especially the birth of my children. Now that I'm pregnant, it really doesn't feel like they're missing anything. It feels like they know and are enjoying the whole process just as much as I am!

Miss anything?
 I'm kinda missing wine. I finally have a bath tub after a couple years, and all I want to do is sit in the tub with a glass of wine!

Movement: 
Nothing yet, but hopefully soon!

Food cravings: 
Gotta have tea every morning. Cake, frozen treats, grapes, candy.. haha anything sweet!

Anything making you queasy or sick? 
Not anymore... The first trimester was rough. Eggs were a no go.. Seafood just couldn't happen..Thankfully thats all over with so far!

Gender: 
No idea! Hopefully we'll find this out soon too! Couple more weeks or so I think! Even though we don't know for sure, we both really think it's a boy. 

Labour signs:
 No! Thank god! Way too early for that. 

Symptoms: 
Peeing all the time.. Some dull aches in my lower abdomen.. Crazy dreams! 

Belly button in or out?
 In.. I really don't think it'll pop out

Happy or moody most of the time: 
Happy!

Looking forward to: 
The gender ultrasound! 

Bebe On The Way!

Well this blog came to a halt! Shortly after I stopped posting, I found out that we are expecting our first little bundle of joy! Since the moment I got pregnant, I felt more like a bundle of pukey tired crap then joy. Of course I was happy and excited beyond words! Don't get me wrong.... but the "morning" sickness I experienced was something else. It last the entire first trimester and I mean ENTIRE. I was sick morning, noon and night. Every smell set me off. I've gotten sick in too many public places for a girl who's not in college anymore, thats for sure! I was also exhausted. When I wasn't throwing up, I was sleeping. 

-12 weeks-

-13 weeks-

 Now that all that is out of the way, my second trimester is a god send so far! Thankfully! I can eat again.. mmmm eating...one of my favourite things to do these days haha! Grapes! I LOVE them! I also am obsessed with Asian salad... You know, the pre made ones in the bag that have the sunflower seeds and dried cranberries and that real good ginger sesame dressing. MMMM!! Although since we made our move to the east coast, I have NOT been able to find it!! I'm also craving a pepperoni and cheese pizza from this little take out place back in my hometown called the Jade. I swear, she makes the best pizza I've ever eaten. Being 36 hours away from this deliciousness hurts my soul. The yellow box Kraft pizza is a good replacement though.

-14 weeks-

Another pregnancy change I've experienced is the insane dreams! Oh my goodness. Ive woken up crying, sweating, talking, jumping, and even nauseated from the dreams! For the most part, they're pretty interesting, although some of them can be just plain insane and sometimes very scary. The plus side to all of the dreaming, I get to see a bunch of people that I haven't seen in a long time. Living so far away from anyone I know has kind of made me a bit lonely. The dreams are pretty entertaining! 

Speaking of the move, I do LOVE it where we live. I think its going to be the perfect place to raise our growing bebe! The to photos I took with the blue shirt and sweater on, were taken in "his" room. We both keep calling it a "him", but we don't know for sure yet. In the beginning, I was saying it was going to be a girl, but I think that's just because everyone else kept saying boy! I always had a feeling it's going to be a boy. Either way, I'll be happy! I just want a chubby, healthy bebe! Hopefully we'll get that ultrasound booked soon since I'm already 16 weeks along. It's been somewhat annoying and difficult trying to take find doctors, get appointments, get blood work and ultrasounds done, all while moving from one province to another in my first trimester! Slowly things are starting to come together, although I now need to find another OB since we moved to a different area of this province and the nurse practitioner I was seeing, is now an hour and a half away from me! I'm not too keen on driving that distance all the time, thats for sure. Soon, all the pieces will fall together and a new routine will be in place! 

-15.5 weeks-

I love being pregnant so far, even though the first trimester was pretty rough on me, and I'm sure it was rough on my boyfriend as well. I am appreciated every single moment and enjoying everything so far. Seeing my little bebe on ultrasounds, hearing and seeing his heartbeat, watching my belly grow, makes my heart flutter with excitement and so much love. I feel like such a proud momma already. At the last ultrasound [about 14 weeks], "he" was laying on his stomach/face, and when she pressed harder on my belly with the wand, he flipped over and was facing us! It was such a great moment to see "him" moving around in there. I can't wait until I can start feeling those movements. "He's" potentially due on my birthday! That's going to be a great birthday present :D